iPhone MMS Penis Pictures Crash Servers

San Antonio, TX) – Mere hours after it was launched, the eagerly awaited MMS (multi-media messaging) feature for Apple’s hugely popular iPhone was disabled, as AT&T’s data servers proved incapable of coping with the massive influx of wiener pic traffic.

“Within the first few minutes, our network was flooded with nearly 3.4 million MMS messages and the early data shows that almost 98% of those were pictures of our male customers’ penises,” stated Ronald MacArthur, head of data traffic for the company.

In the weeks and days up until the feature was rolled out, AT&T had been working around the clock to make improvements to its network, in order to deal with the expected spike in customers using the service. Unfortunately, their efforts appear to have been woefully inadequate.

“I guess we just weren’t prepared for how many guys would want to send other people a picture of their ding dong,” lamented MacArthur.

An informal poll of passers-by on a crowded street downtown revealed that AT&T had vastly underestimated the appeal.

“Oh, hells yeah I’m gonna send out pictures of my dick! You can do that now??” remarked a well-dressed businessman.

“I have Verizon, but really the only thing that’s been preventing me from getting an iPhone is the fact that I can’t trick my buddies into seeing a picture of my wang by saying something like, ‘Oh hey, you gotta see what this chick is wearing!’ and then sending them a picture of my boner under the pretense that it’s some slut in a miniskirt or something like that. I’m definitely gonna get one now. Especially with them adding Microsoft Exchange support. Oh and the dick pictures too,” said another man in his early 30’s who declined to give us his name, lest he tip off his friends to his planned shenanigans.

“Are you kidding? I sent like twenty already!” Enthused another young man who was actually in the process of taking yet another picture of his genitals to send out from his iPhone as we interviewed him, apparently unaware that the service had been disabled.

Female iPhone users seemed less enthusiastic about the feature. IT professional, Melanie Browning, complained that she had already received several unwelcome pictures from her male friends and co-workers.

“It’s idiotic. At this point, I realize that it’s not going to be a picture of a cute puppie. I’m not that stupid. Hold on a second, my dad just sent me a picture of his new car–Oh god!” Ms. Browning then began sobbing uncontrollably.

On their website, AT&T would not provide a solid timeline for when the service would come back online, but had this to say: “AT&T regrets further delays in rolling out the MMS service to its iPhone customers. We promise that we are hard at work, shoring up our infrastructure in order to bring you the best possible experience for tricking your friends and women you are stalking into seeing your Johnson against their will.”

"I Fell In Love At The Apple Store" Is Destined to Become A Fanboy Classic

Honestly, this song is catchy as hell. The kid looks like a bit of a tool singing at the Apple Store on 5th Ave in NYC, but he isn't the only vlogger to use the store as a recording studio.

Microsoft opening café in Paris to build excitement for Windows 7

You know what the French love? Cafés. They love them so much, apparently, that Microsoft has decided to open one in the heart of Paris to drum up excitement about Windows 7. The Windows café will serve coffee and pastries (it is a café, after all), and will also have Microsoft products -- such as the Xbox -- on hand for customers to play with, but it won't actually sell any Microsoft wares. The shop, which is currently being built at 47 Boulevard Sebastopol, will be open from October 22nd onward, so if you're in the area you should check it out before it's gone for good -- we hear it'll only be there for a few short weeks. Finally, a reason to go to Paris!

Rumor: New, Thinner iMacs Rolling Off Factory Lines, Maybe With Blu-ray and Mystery Features

New iMacs aren't just coming soon, they've been rolling out for two weeks,according to AppleInsider. They're thinner and look more like the LED Cinema Display, with mystery features that make them the "most versatile ever."

One of those features might be Blu-ray (uh, finally), and another might something "related to audio." AppleInsider says they'll be extending the "capabilities of at least one technology introduced on the Mac platform as recently as last fall," which to us means either an LED display, or the unibody build. (Or hey, maybe it's a super Mini DisplayPort.)

Whatever's new, we wouldn't be surprised for the new iMacs to follow the overall Apple trend of packing in more features for less money than before, like the recent MacBook Pro revisions. Supposedly, the announcement will come any time between next week and mid-October, depending on when marketing feels like it.

Courier: First Details of Microsoft's Secret Tablet

It feels like the whole world is holding its breath for the Apple tablet. But maybe we've all been dreaming about the wrong device. This is Courier, Microsoft's astonishing take on the tablet.

Courier is a real device, and we've heard that it's in the "late prototype" stage of development. It's not a tablet, it's a booklet. The dual 7-inch (or so) screens are multitouch, and designed for writing, flicking and drawing with a stylus, in addition to fingers. They're connected by a hinge that holds a single iPhone-esque home button. Statuses, like wireless signal and battery life, are displayed along the rim of one of the screens. On the back cover is a camera, and it might charge through an inductive pad, like the Palm Touchstone charging dock for Pre.

Until recently, it was a skunkworks project deep inside Microsoft, only known to the few engineers and executives working on it—Microsoft's brightest, like Entertainment & Devices tech chief and user-experience wizard J. Allard, who's spearheading the project. Currently, Courier appears to be at a stage where Microsoft is developing the user experience and showing design concepts to outside agencies.

Microsoft has a history of collaborating with other firms, especially in the E&D division: Zune and Xbox have both gone through similar design processes. (And plans for the Microsoft Store leaked through a third-party agency were confirmed as genuine prototype layouts and concepts.) This video is branded Pioneer Studios, a Microsoft division within E&D that specializes in this kind of work, working with another agency that's a long-time Microsoft collaborator on confidential projects.

The Courier user experience presented here is almost the exact opposite of what everyone expects the Apple tablet to be, a kung fu eagle claw to Apple's tiger style. It's complex: Two screens, a mashup of a pen-dominated interface with several types of multitouch finger gestures, and multiple graphically complex themes, modes and applications. (Our favorite UI bit? The hinge doubles as a "pocket" to hold items you want move from one page to another.) Microsoft's tablet heritage is digital ink-oriented, and this interface, while unlike anything we've seen before, clearly draws from that, its work with the Surface touch computer and even the Zune HD.